Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I got too drunk.
There we go.
Lately, I 've been drinking more, I should probably stop? Well maybe, maybe not?
I'm amazed that I didn't cry my eyes out that day but heck the vodka shots helped out alot.
Vodka + Trampolien = FUN!
Memo to Self: Don't have cousins around when this happens... too much infomation is let out in such a short time. Plus one peticular individual would like to make a toast at my "future wedding" and mention a few things...
Over my dead body. Seriously.
I guess I should mention that Christmas was pretty great (alot better than last year's but don't tell my mother). Got alot f things I've asked for. Actually got my Dad his own presents with my own money! =D It depresses me that last year he had to buy his own presents because I ran out of money...
Memo to Self: Learn from your mistakes and then pretend they've never happened.
Might put a little (big) inventory of the stuff I've receive that morning. I'm not doing it to throw down people's throats (is that the term?) opps. I meant not to rub in people's faces (if there is people that even read my blog?). I just like making lists and then remind myself who gave them to me so I can send them a thank-you card, which would probably be late. I'm horrible at sending things through the mail... Had a bad experiance last year and acouple people didn't get my gifts I've sent then =[
So I have adapted a new phobia, a phobia of sending mail during the holidays. Pathetic eh?
Got a shit load of songs stuck in my head.... an their not what you would call... "my usual cup of tea".
No. No. No. I DON'T WANT TO MEET YOU AT THE HOTEL ROOM!!!
Stupid song... *Sighs*.
Got to go before I get into trouble. BLKEH. <- (my new favourite word!) XD. By the way, I'm really, really, really looking forward to Sping and seeing a dear, dear friend of mine. *hearts*
So long and farewell?
PS. Here's one of my favourite songs at the moment. Also. I'm too lazy to check up on my grammar. Total badass here. XP
Friday, December 25, 2009
Well with it being Christmas and all... alot of stuff obviously goes on.
I won't be blogging later today, might blog on the 26th in memory of my dear friend, but I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas MY DEARS! (or Happy Holidays or whatever you celebrate)!!!
I want to say a special thanks to one special person.
Thank you Brayden, for being there for me even though you are far away.
Just knowing that "you're there" for me no matter what, helps me get through the day.
You are dear to me.
I miss you!!!
Also thank to everyone else who's been there for me aswell, I greatly appreciate it. :]
Oh! And my friend Queenie had her baby boy! Congrats Queenie and Harry!!!
Dominic will be added to my birthday card list. :]
So long and farewell? And to all a goodnight.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Your love doesn't mean anything. You think you are in love with her and the others beforehand;
but in reality, you are the one who is in love with the thought of being in love.
It's all in your mind, your little fantasy land of yours.
You are delusional.
And it's your own god damn fault.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
OKAY... Well things are starting to get better. *Yay!*
Had a fun time last night. Went to the JingleBellRockFest - with opening acts ->Jetsoverhead, Tegan and Sara, and with the headliner -> AFI.
It was amazing. GOT FLOORTICKETS ASWELL AND I DIDNT GET TRAMPLED ON!!! Tehe.
Went with Mandy and Riki cause Fish went her own way. Didnt really mind. Drinks are expensive there... a medium cost $3.50 -> eeeeehhhhhhhhhh!
Jetsoverhead were okay I guess... not really into them that much, but it was nice background music when socialzing with Mandy and Riki at their seats.
Tegan and Sara was quite pleasentful. =] Never saw them before but I quite enjoyed it. Tegan was hilarious when talking about her christmas experiance and Sara was mostly the quiet one. Why did I have a sudden erge to grope them? Hahahahaa.
Anyyywayysss. AFI were frekin FANTASTIC!!! =D
Always wanted to see them since I was 13. My heart almost stopped when Miss Murder came on. JIZZED IN MY PANTS MUCH? HAHAHAHAAA.
Love that song! XD It was actually my first ringtone on my first cellphone. Haha.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!!
Still wondering what was going on with Davey Havok's hair. I don't mind it but it confuzzled me... complaring it to when he last had his hair...
My original plan before the show started was to get my BlueBucks from Danicas, drop my longboard off, and chug the booze down before going in.
What actuualy happened is this, went by Danica's, discovered that her boyfriend finished of both of my BlueBucks (didnt mind too much - he's a pretty cool guy), got a shot of Fireball, left, went by Will's and drop stuff off and my one beer that i got from my own place, went to meet up with Riki and Mandy.
So practically I was sober throughout the whole show, but hey, I dont mind. I actually like keeping a steady head once in awhile. =]
So long and farewell?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Oh typical me.
It's actually quite difficult for me now, trying to type this without a draft outline of what I wanted to say.
The thinking begins and will hopefully end before the sun rises.
This week has been... um... what is that friken word? Mhmm... having a difficult time picking a work from the Thesaurus online site... WELL ANYWAYS, LETS JUST SAY IT WAS DIFFICULT!
There, I said it!
I swear I can't think straight.
Reading a book called "Someone Like You". Possibly the worst choice for me to be reading at this time of year.
I was afraid to start reading it, but I eventually did. So the question is... How did the first couple chapters worked out? Well it's an okay book, not the greatest... I know what the plot is about but yet I took a chance to read it, knowing that possibly I would probably get quite emotional.
For the most part, the I don't relate to the majority of the story but for one part I do.
And that is where I fall the hardest.
I started reading it a quarter before my English class ended and when my class ended and I went outside for a smoke... I eventually started to cry.
Thankfully my "friend" and my sister were there to give me some comfort... but ugh... I felt like rubbish.
I miss him so much... it's going to be the first anniverisary of his death in a week.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Now I'm happy to say that I've found my new victim... hehehe.
Haha, nah, I won't do anything evil... well not yet anyways. I decided to go with the fatest and laziest creature in our Bio fishtank...
Well it's not that fat or lazy actually but compared to the shrimps (who are shrimpy versions of chimpmunks on acid) well... it's deffiently more laidback. Haha.
On the subject of science... well in a way; WHO TOUCHED MY CUP??!!?!?!!?
I have this styrofoam cup in my Bio class that I specifically reserved for MYSELF, I even wrote on the side -> "Sara's cup - do not touch or she will find out and then someone will have to pay".
And guess what?
Someone has dared to touch MY cup and wrote on the side saying so.
THE NERVE!!! Grrrr...I will find out who that person is... and will make them pay with their life.
Appearently I am violent? :S
So long and farewell?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
On the topic of that awesome skull pipe, I’m what you can say…. GREEN WITH ENVY.
Why does Mandy get a pipe and all I get is a dinky sombrero that can only fit a mandarin orange head? Oh well… it came from Mexico so it’s still pretty chill.
I somehow managed to convince a guy in my Bio class to buy me a pipe when he goes to Mexico during the break… that reminds me… got to get $10 to him before he leaves…
Okay… maybe I shouldn’t have gone on the computer last night… what the fuck is wrong with me? And how do I remember my passwords while intoxicated?
This weekend was FANTASTICAL!!!
Seriously it was.
Went to my friend’s Christmas/birthday party on Friday night. What could I say?
Probably one of the best parties of the whole year! It’s funny how I didn’t drink that much and yet I still got pretty smashed. Oh wait; it was probably the pot that did me in.
Wow, I am such a smart person to mix alcohol with drugs. Oh well, I will eventually learn my lesson… hopefully before it’s too late.
Felt like such a badass drinking my own beer and socializing with smart artistic people. Tehe.
I enjoyed it.
On Saturday I went to my friend’s baby shower. It was pretty good, but I kind of ate too much for my own good. Also I suppose it didn’t help that I was drinking shitty beer (thank god it was only one can!). WAIT A SECOND… why do people serve beer at bay showers? O_o
Anyways it was nice to see that Queenie and Harry were doing well. Queenie is due on the 28th and her “peanut” child will be called Dominic James Riches Fritzpatrick.
This is the third child to be named Dominic or Dominick from my friends… The coincidence scares the hell out of me, but at least now I know what not to name my future baby boy (if I do ever have one). Anyways, I’ve spent some time with Mariz as well during the baby shower. We went for a walk ad ate ice cream sandwiches on the way (and in the winter too!). It was relaxing.
Sunday, we finally put up our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Yes it is small and dinky, just barely taller than me. Haha. I love decorating the house around this time of the year… makes the atmosphere more “homely-like” if you get what I mean. =] Our poor Christmas tree is engulfed by presents… I feel bad for it. Poor little tree is getting overwhelmed. Haha.
Chilled with a friend later that night (yesterday, last night), drank a pack of Kokanee beer by the Harbor. Would have been nicer if it was warmer out… drinking cold beers outside in the cold… not the smartest idea in the world.
Why the hell did I post that lastnight?
So long and farewell?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Needed to get that out of my system.
Mhmmm.... So I understand that you want to kiss me but why? SERIOUSLY WHY???
People says it's because I'm pretty, cute, adorable, hot, etc.. (BLEH!)
But honeslt.y... those don't seem to be like real answers... maybe it's becuase I'm drunk at the moment it doesn't seem so... BUT HONESTLY WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO KISS ME?
Mhmmm... might regret posting this in the morning but what ever.
Had a fun night! *Yay!* XD
Friday, December 11, 2009
ZOMBIES ARE BLOODY EXPENSIVE!!!
Went Christmas shopping the other day for my cousins, did pretty well for the stuff I got them, I do hope they like it, but... KARL BETTER APPRECIATE THE AWSOME EXPENSIVE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL T-SHIRT I GOT HIM!!!
Yeah it's a zombie t-shirt and it's pretty goddamn awesome.
I went by Utopia and saw that they were having a sale ($5-$10), it made me excited. Haha. So I went on a mission to get the perfect t-shirt that even my picky cousin can't refuse!
I went through so many frekin t-shirts that I was starting to get frustrated, then I saw it.
The Zombie Survival t-shirt. It was beautiful.
When I went to pay for it, I found out that it didn't cost $10 or $15 but $25!
FUCK, oh well I did buy it anways, but I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to pay for it... had $50 in my account and spent half of that already...
Amazingly enough I did, but it was close, 7 cents close...
I do want to mention that the gusy that work at Utopia are pretty chill but their sale signs decieved me.
Won't be going by there anytime soon unless somebody gives me the money for me to buy myself a Betty Page cigerette case ( *hint* pssst! it's only $25! *hint* ).
Oh and I forgot to mention earlyier that I'm going to Danica's birthday party tonight! It's going to be frekin AWESOME!!! It's funny how she used to babysit me when we used to live in Smithers in the 90's, moved around abit and then ended up in the same city. She's fantastic! =D
Kinda nervous about after school... but oh well. =]
So long and farewell?
More and more thoughts are swiriling in my head in an unorderly way.
Desicions to make, more shopping to finish, and trying not to lose my marbles. And all in less than one week.
It's getting colder out lately which is nice for a change. I always have loved the cold even when I do complain about it. In a way that does make me a hypocrite, but what has possibly prompt me to complain in the first place was probably the wind.
I love the cold but I hate it when it does get windy out. I hate the wind as much as I hate auto-flusing toilets.
Luckly for me the wind has finally stopped and now the weather is almost perfect. All we hope now is it to snow.
My dear friend Mandy and I were planning on having another Coffin Grinder photoshoot (WINTER COLLECTION!) when it does snow. Mandy is being impatient though, she wanted to do it last week but I convinced her to wait and get the perfect winter setting we would need to make the photoshoot perfect.
Others news, my "friend" has left us for a week to go take wedding pictures in the States.... *Sighs*.
It's boring when he's not here. No doubt he is deffiently going to have some "fun" in LasVagas or any other place he does go. I hate the saying "What happens in Las Vagas, stays in Las Vagas."... kinda worries me. Bleh.
Well as long as he is happy, I'm happy. =]
I guess compared to others, I seem more reserved or lacking in affection (?) to others, but you know what? I'm used to keeping it to myself and then finding a personal setting to express those feelings to a person etc. but personally I do wish I was more open about with letting others know my affection for one or others. The word that would probably help explain my situation is shyness. I'm too shy to leave a message saying "I miss you so much, come back to me please!!!! *hearts* *hearts* *hearts* *hearts* *hearts*.
I'm afraid that if I do something like that, that it would make me appear "obsessed" or "infatuated" and that the person I've sent that to, would reject me.
Anyways... I've started reading Lady Oracle by Magaret Atwood. It seems promising.
Oh, I just remembered, my friend, Danica, went out to see her when she was here last week, and Danica got her to sign her chest! And right in front of her parnter! Hahahaha. She is such a lucky duck. I wished that I went.
So long and farewell?
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Alot of stuff happened since Friday... and it seems that I might be moving to London, England in July.
Well my dad is in the military and is trying to get posted there.
He first mentions it on Friday morning and tells me that I have to decide wether or not he should try to apply for it before Monday.
That stressed the hell out of me.
I mean going to England for two years would be fucking awesome and I would get to do so many fucking things. IT WOULD BE AMAZING.
And yet... I would have to leave my "home" and friends behind.
My friends are so fucking important to me that it made me cry hearing about it that Friday morning, luckly I didn't have my make-up on...
I mentioned it to a group of my friends during lunch, but I assumed by none of them saying anything I thought they didn't hear me... I guess I was wrong.
I actually forgotten all about it after lunch but I was reminded of it that day when my dad came home. Alex (my super ninja ex boyfriend) was there with me playing Call of Duty 4, so he heard everything when my dad brought it up...
I'm not good at making discions in general, it made me felt so lost. I wanted to cry my eyes out right then but I held them back... Thank god Alex was there though... (Alex if you reading this, thanks for the support)... I really appreciated it.
My dad wouldn't stop talking about the trips to Paris we could take, the private school I could be going to, and the all year long icerinks I could skate.... I knew he was bribing me... you could see it in his eyes that he really wanted to go.
I told him on Saturday morning that I would be fine with it.
Even though I told him my desciine, it felt like I should've taken me time to think about it but... I dont know... I'm lost... I think I just need a hug.
Also it sucked that I couldn't see my friend Friday night, I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, LIKE REALLY REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. It's been a rough week and I needed some relaxing time with him.
He is dear to my heart.
Luckly I did get a chance to see him when I got icecream today with Jesse. Simon almost made me choke on the mini tasting spoon. Jeeze... I almost died laughing with a spoon in my mouth.
Would have loved to stay longer and chat but I was seeing Jesse who I haven't seen since VEMF, when he totally ditch me for caps and girls that wanted to get down his pants. Jeeze... Haha.
IT'S SO FREKIN COLD OUTSIDE!!! POOR JESSE DIDN'T EVEN HAD SOCKS ON!
FUCK, I hope he doesn't freeze to death walking to the bus stop. I will feel so bad about it.
Earlier we took acouple funny pictures on my webcam -> It was fun.
To Simon, Brayden, Alex, Jesse, and Matt...
YOU GUYS ARE MY FAVOURITE! <3
So long and farewell?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Okay, so there's this huge fish tank in my Biology class and it's filled up with a bunch of marine organisms including kelp. There once was this dinky fish that caught my eye acouple months ago and his name was Lumpy. Lumpy was a Pacific Spiney Lumpsucker. What is that you may say? WELL it's a fish that's the size and the shape of a small golfball with a suction cup underneath itself. He swims around and then when he gets tired he suddenly starts to suck the side of the glass and rests. Lumpy's original colour is exactly the same shade as Orange Crush, but he was then turning gray... not exactly.. a healthy colour for him. Didn't match his eyes at all. Usually when fish do change their colours... it means that they are very sick or potentially close to death. I told Mr.Y that Lumpy is going to die but he said that he was just sick and that he would get better. A week later, Lumpy went missing.
He's dead and now is residing in Mr.Y's fridge. Told you so. Anways, I guess all I can say now is that... Lumpy, we miss you and we'll never forget you, you silly sucker.
So long and farewell?
Lumpy the Lumpsucker
October 2008 - October 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Well its not as bad as the other days, but this still hurts just as much.
It makes me sad when you're sad. I can tell when your lying especially when you say that you're fine, cause you're not.
I hate it. I feel hopeless in this situation.
I just want to see you smile and see that your eyes are gleaming with happiness...
But until then, please remember that I'm there for you and that you can confide in me.
I'll be there for you.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
moments in life that break you. There are moments in life
that influence you, and moments in life that change you.
There are mments in life that challenge you and
there are moments in life that crush you and there are
moments in life that destroy you. There are moments
in life of total peace, and there are moments in
life of total chaos. Nothing is permanent, everything
Friday, November 27, 2009
Why is it that everytime I do attempt to read any of your work my head explodes with pain?
Why is it so?
Mhmm... maybe I should buy some Advil the next time I try to finish The Pit and the Pendulum.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
It just makes me depressed just even trying to sort it out.
Happy, sad, frustrated, annoyed, and anger.
I'm tired of getting dirty looks from Brenden and Manny (but then again I do expect it from Manny, it is his nature to do so). Their prominent gaze sends me into complete panic mode.
Twitching, itching, just wanting to scream "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?!"
Brenden's glare came about when I started dating his friend over a year ago.
It made me feel like I didn't deserve to be there and that I would never fit in.
Now... even after my ex and I broke up, I still recieve them.
A worthless pathetic spec of dirt.
That's how I see myself in their eyes.
Why is it so?
How the hell am I going to make it through without losing it. Confrontation?
If only I had the "balls" to do so.
Girls, girls, and more girls; was my sister's reply to a desperate question of mine.
It wasn't the answer I was looking for.
It didn't seem to be the truth.
He wants to drop the harlot rep and told me so, but I still needed to be reassured. I asked my sister if there was still others.
All was said... "He has girls.".
Wow... I feel special, yet it sadly doesn't surprise me.
I just wish it wasn't so.
My random blogging of random stuff should be expected of me... well only from those who know me personally, but to others who don't:
Expect It Now.
So long and farewell?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
ur blog lacks sexy pics
MR IM TOO LAZY TOO GET MYSELF TO LOOK AT KINKY PICTURES
SO ILL GET SARA TO DO UPLOAD THEM FOR ME INSTEAD "
Fine, here are your kinky pictures, prepared just for you Brayden. Jeeze. XD
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Yes I'm talking about those auto-flushing toilets they implanted at the mall and on the ferrys, so they can "help" us with our time to flush. But you know what? WE DON'T NEED or technically... I DON'T NEED IT! It doesn't help for the fact that I'm smaller than the average person so I already got to make sure that I don't fall in but it doesn't help at all when THE DAMN TOILET IS TRYING TO FLUSH ME DOWN ALL TOGETHER WHEN I'M NOT EVEN DONE YET!
AUTO-FLUSHING TOILETS...PURE EVIL!
Well that was fun.
So long and farewell?
Friday, November 20, 2009
I left alittle bit earlier because I've already made plans to go iceskating with my "friend", Simon, later that evening.
Hilarious though... I was half an hour early... Opps.
I thought it was at 6... looking back at my texts... we were suppose to meet at 6.30> Haha. I then spent the remainder of my spare time walking around the mall. The mall was quiet and hardly anyone else around, it made the environment quite relaxing. =] Meet up with Simon (yes at the proper time) and headed to the arena.
Skating was sooooooooooo fun!!! =D I missed it so much! *Sighs* It's been ages since I last went so it was a special treat last night. We had such a lovely time that I didn't want it to stop. We tried taking pictures of us together, but it didn't really work out so we asked someone else to help take it instead. The picture turned out very nicely. I also took acouple pictures on my cell. =] ->
Now the ridiculous thing was when we were heading back to his place... we walked across our school's field of which turned into a lake (it's been raining like crazy earlier) and my shoe happened to get itself stuck. While trying to free myself, I got my foot free from my shoe but happened to slip and fall backwards, thus landing on my butt in a huge ass puddle. My shoe... was stuck in the mud and my socks were drenched. I just sat there in shock.
I have to admit... these series of unfortunate events were pretty funny.
Simon helped me up and asked if I was okay. He also helped get my shoe back from the evil mud monster...
We left the flooded field & my fossilized butt imprint in the mud, and walked back to the bus stop.
I had a great time iceskating with Simon, even when I fell into the mud afterwards. Haha.
I hope we can do it again... minus the mud though. =D
Going to Seattle tomorrow!!! =D
So long and farwell?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
They are interwined together. I don't know what to do.
*Sighs* Sometimes I wish I wasn't an emotional person... it's starting to become too much to bear.
Anyways, on the good side of things, I'm going to buy a longboard from this person for only $30!!! Such a good deal!!! Well, only if it is in good condiction... Hopefully it is. =D
It's a Landyatchz DH Race. ->
And, this is my baby, Peanuts (yes it has a name.) Haha. ->
Monday, November 16, 2009
In a way I understand that Planning is essential to grad but honestly (no offense Mz.Z, but I prefer you as a Socials teacher instead) the teaching of it is giving me a headache. I know she means well and that she does try really hard to get us more involved... but it doesn't seem to be working well... especially when I, myself thinks that this is a load of bullshit. It doesn't help for my case that Mz.Z doesnt like me and isn't exactly "impressed" with my working habits, of which I have none because I don't do any work.
It is my fault for my failures in school and for letting things in lfe pull me down.
I am, I suppose, lazy and unmotivated. I don't know how it started, I wasn't like this when I was younger? My head hurts from just trying to figure it out.
That reminds me... even if it doesn't relate to anything I was typing beforehand... but I still need to remember to talk to Darryel... Mhmm... potential sabotage heading towards his direction? Maybe. Haha. Probably will give that paranoid freak a heart attack. God, I need to get some chronic... for my good old' Sara relaxing time. =]
I really wished that the weekend didn't have to end. I wanted to spend another night at his place. Makes me feel safe. =]
Woah... this morning was... well, alot of stuff was going on. *Sighs*. I'm quite concerned for my friends.
One just had a breakdown, another might possibly have phenomena and then there's something wrong with my sister. It's so hard cause there's something wrong going on and I can't do anything about it! She won't even tell me. I feel so hopeless.
I do hope she does eventually talk to someone about it... it sounds too big of a deal for her to handle by herself. We're best friends, sisters for life...
What would it possibly be that she refuses to tell me? I'm worried for her. =[
Almost cried while watching the news the other night... a woman and a ten year old boy died in a car crash in Vernon earlier this week. They were struck by a oncoming truck.
It reminds me of Dayton. =[
So long and farewell?
Something is holding him back from his prize,a wholesome life.
He won't say. Possibly or maybe, he just won't crack.
He is longing for someone to fill the emptiness
And yet he doesn't know how to show himself, the whole picture
To that one person; whoever that may be.
The past is what holds us back.
Hopefully one day soon, he will let go.
Whoever that may be.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Then again... I shouldn't be surprised. This usually happens to me with websites except for Twitter?
I would go on about once every 2 or 3 weeks and tweet the shit out of my account then leaving leave it to the next time I want to rant about life or certain people. Haha.
Went to see 2012 with my friend and his friend last night. Was pretty good... just wished there was more available seats...
I had to sit on my poor friend's lap; I probably would have concentrated more on the movie if I wasn't so worried about cutting the circulation off in his leg. My neck and back are sore... but it was worth it. Pretty decent seat and great company, sadly though my friend's friend had to sit somehwere else... the movie theatre was packed and it was impossible to find three free seats together. It was pissing me off especially when there were dinky fourteen year olds saving 3 to 4 seats at a time. Oh well. I like sitting on Simon's lap. Haha. =D
I don't know why the Russian chick had to die... maybe it was from the backlash of the giraffe's kiss of life?
Having a "curry" night at my dad's friend's place tonight. It's going to be really good!
Just thinking about it is making me very hungry.... yummy... ARGH! I CAN SMELL THE FOOD IN THE KITCHEN FROM MY ROOM!!! XD
This is pure torture!
So long and farewell?
PS. Brayden, every week I'll add a random kinky picture to my blog... just for you okay. =P
Maybe you should just make your own account and follow me? It will be alot easier for you instead of asking me for the link... which is never the correct one Haha.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
My friend Mel's birthday party was last night. Her actual birthday was on Tuesday and the party was suppose to happen then but due to the fact that the majority of people had other plans that it was moved to Friday.
It was frekin awesome! Beer, cats and Turkish vodka oh my! Haha. Got pretty drunk... Turkish vodka... mhmm... who knew that it would taste like liquorice? And that I, Sara, would actually drink it? O_O It actualy is pretty decent especially when mixed with Coke. Mhmm... what else happened?
Somebody spiked the orange juice. Apparently it was me. And apparently you have to be drunk to spike the orange juice. Why? Well actually I don't know... I can't seem to remember who told me that.... dizzy much?
Wait a second!... I do remember that people were taking shots and I filled their cups with orange juice....
...I REMEBER NOW! God, I am such a silly billy.
Left Mel's place and head to my "friend's" place. I am pretty god damn sure that I was talking to myself in a third person while walking over there. OH AND MOUSE WAS THERE! =D
Last night was fun.
Also... who knew that the ESL womanizer in my Planning worked at McDonalds? And that he took my order? Totaly unexpected, but it was nice. Had a quick converstation with him and left with my breakfast.
He is one of the few who actually make really good McDonald's coffee. =]
My thoughts in general at the moment... are confused. *Sighs* Why did I mentioned that I had a blog to him? Haha. Oh well...
I wish it will start snowing soon.
So long and farewell?
Friday, November 13, 2009
It's been a good day, hopefully it will stay like this throughout the weekend. I have a good feeling that it will.
I really like this photo... very dark, extremely alluring, and just plain kinky.
I don't blame any people that are reading this and thinking that I am some type of freak for liking this picture, I totally understand, it's messed up.
So long and farwell?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Was just reading my last entry when I noticed acouple spelling mistakes and some extra words that I had forgotten to take out when I rewrite a sentace. *Sighs*
Who honestly spells Blog as Bog? I should try to notice these things first before publishing a entry.
I got my good friend to check this blog thingy of mine and to give me his honest opinion. He likes it and encourages me to keep on blogging; which is making me more self-cofident about the burntoutlighter. =D
Mhmmm... I don't know what to type now...
Oh and I almost forgot; I have a DeviantArt account, so if any of you (anyone?) would like to check it out, please do. =D
It's crazy to think that we "officially" met almost a week ago and now I can't seem to get you out of my head.
Originaly I was preparing myself for FwB situation and not allowing myself to get emotionally involved... but even so... it seemed like my plan has backfired. I won't allow my feelings to get in the way of our friendship though.
You have been through alot and I don't want these emotions to get in the way of your plans, but if... amazingly enough you do share the same feelings... Shit... I really haven't thought that far ahead... but please remember that I will be there for you, always.
Kinda lost my train of thought for a second or two... okay maybe atleast 3 mintues. *Sighs* Oh well.
Will be going to watch hockey (?) tonight with my dad and then be cleaning dishes when I get back home. HOW MANY CUPS DO WE HAVE IN OUR FREKIN HOUSE?!?! For Pete's sake! It's driving me insane!
So long and farewell?
I wish I could express my thoughts more to the people I care about but I just can't even explain it to them. It's too hard. I have been getting better though when it comes to personal relationships and explaining my emotions, but before that this is what usually happens ex. Callum (I don't have any quicknics for him) and I. I couldn't explain to him that the way he was treating me was tearing me inside, especially when I was living at my friend's palce while my dad was away for acouple months. I didn't know how to ask him for support I needed to make it through alright. That is probably why our relationship ended and now we hardly have anything to say to each other except for ex.
"Hey, what's up?", "Nothing much, you?", "Nothing.", "Well goodbye.", "Bye".
Honestly, this is how it's like between us now; it is depressing.
It makes me sad thinking about my past relationships and realizing that it could never truly go back to the "golden days" of which we were so madly in "love" and being happy together. Now we just push the memories to the sideline as if they were never meant anything.
Even if I don't have the same feelings towards my exboyfriends that I did back then (thank god), I still tresure all the happy moments we had in our prime time even if I think that "so and so" was a dick to me at the end. There was reasons why I liked him (refering to all my exboyfriends) in the first place and we had some good times together. I tresure them all even if they don't; I still care about it. Maybe one day I will type up my favourite times with my exboyfriends and what their good traits are. I will try my best not to bitch about them too much. Haha.
Would have been, could have been?
That is the question... Or no? Maybe I just felt like radomly saying that. My mind confuses me alot these days.
To my "friend"; I want to get to know you better. You have been telling me bit by bit, but not the whole story. I hope that one day you will tell me the reason why. You know which reason I am talking about (I doubt that you would ever even go on to this blog of mine), I just want you to know that I will be there for you. I will.
Is it stalkerish to read all the bog entries of a friend? Well I hope not or I am going to feel like a total creeper for a couple weeks...
I've been reading your past blog entries, trying to find clues, but only getting the outlines... God, I am being impatient about this. *Sighs*
Why can't I be upfront with the questions I want to ask?
Luckly I've stopped being so nervous when ever I do hang out with my new "friend". I guess I was just afriad that he would change his mind and tell me to bug off. Apperently he nervous aswell...
Going to be seeing him this weekend so I am pretty stoked for that! =D Should I bring my XL Charles Darwin Wanted shirt for pj's?
Mhmm... That is the question. Seriously it is.
So long and farwell?
PS; I just want to point out that the "so-called" smooth ESL guy in my Planning class is a womanizer and that no girl is safe unless she is willing to kick him in the balls if he tries anything.
Yes, these violent thoughts has crossed my mind.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
This blog, the burntoutlighter, is the only way I can truly say what I want without worrying what other people think. I would love to believe that I have the balls (figure of speech) to be upfront about my thoughts, reasons, and personal life to the people that "know" me, but I don't.
In a way... this helps because if I can't really talk to anyone about this in the first place and just keeping it inside will eventually be tear me apart (which is deffiently not a good thing!).
My little mini profile on my page says I am a emotional and potentially violent person; it is true, but luckly not all the time. But then again why would I put it there in the first place? Well like I was trying to say before, I want to show my true self here than be bombarded with disbelief or comments from my friends and "family". *Sighs* I'm starting to run out of things to say.
Also I'm not going to be revealing any names except for quicnics in my blogs (ex. Mouse; I seriously forgotten her name though... seriously!), so yeah... if it confuses you... let it be because making me explain everything will just become a huge headache which shouldn't be desired.
So long and farewell?
Maybe I should see the world in colors than just simply black & white. Spending time with my "friend" last night has taught me things that I wasn't expecting to learn for atleast three years or so. It also relieves me of the usual nervousness I get when I do meet up with him. It is normal to get nervous especially when you are socializing with new people especially ones of whom you would plan to be aquainted with, but never the less I am the cricket and he is the master.
Where the hell did that come from?
Also I am quite excited for my "lover" to be visiting me around Spring time... or maybe sooner as he said, but the date is still unknown. It's suppose to be a surprise I guess, but yet I am ready to believe that he is going to surprise me for my birthday? Big question mark there. I still need to organize my life and hopefully my plans will not get in the way of my lover's visit. If things do get in the way... AKA BOYFRIEND (?) - (who ever that may be?) - (new "friend"?) - I should try to make sure I don't do anythign stupid like cheating. I strongly believe that cheating is the worst thing (besides lying and being deceitful) in a relationship; hopefully I can remain true to who ever I am with (?) and to myself.
Either way... I'm looking forward to his visit.
Jingle Bell Rock Fest is coming up pretty soon. Gotta make plans with friends for a possible after party? Should talk to Fish about that. Oh and I almost forgot, I really need to make $200 beforehand; there's this awesome corset at Aces'&Spades that I wanted to wear for the show and IT ACTUALLY FITS ME PERFECTLY! And it looks fantastic one me. Yay for corset vainty!
Its amazing how just by touch you could learn more about a person than you could ever expected.
I guess all I can say now is that I am looking forward to our next meeting, my friend.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Name's Sara, nothing more and nothing less.
Depressing eh? Well I guess I could say the weather has been cloudy, rainy, and windy which personally I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't for the fact that I can't longboard when it's wet outside. This has turned me into one hell of an evil bitch, but alas I will eventually get over it.
I've been needing to get new art supplies lately, but haven't seemed to be proactive enough to get a job. Yes I had my fair share of handing out resumes, but it's always either a week or a day late. I guess it also doesn't help that I'm sincerely lazy. I will possibly prompt myself into selling more cd's, of which have collected dust over these many years... stacked on my desk. Probably make atleast $10 there which would probably get me 3 pens and a sticker.
I guess it is time to make it official that my recent muse is no longer a muse but just a friend of whom I've been avoiding lately. Sadly I don't have the balls to be open to him even though I did tell him atleast twice that I wasn't interested in a "relationship" at the moment, he still wouldn't click in... he wanted me to become his... "girlfriend". Eeek, the thought of that makes me tremble with twitches. Luckly my sister and I (mainly I), have decided to set my late muse up with Mouse (whom's name I had sadly forgotten... or just didn't know how to spell it). Late muse with Mouse? Mhmm... it's quite a potenial blessing to me and to their upcoming happieness of which the awareness hasn't clicked in with them yet..
Also... I will be going over to my "new" friend's place to watch some movies later today... Hehehe... Forgive me father but I am about to sin. Oh my. Maybe I'm getting way to ahead of myself.
I guess drinking strong coffee this morning was't exactly the greatest idea especially with the caffeine drilling into my brain.
Memo To Self: Drink less coffee and fuck more. Sorry I didn't truly mean that.
Memo To Self: I did actually mean that but I should'nt be so blunt about it.
Memo To Self (Again): Forget what i said before -> drink more coffee and get laid PERIOD!
I think I should end this now before I type more embaressing things that might potentially give me a headache later.
So long and farwell?