Difficult.

It's funny how when I first started to blog that I would just whip something out of thin air and just blog my thoughts... but now, I prefer writing a draft of random thoughts of which is sloshed on every nook and cranny of the scrap piece of paper. The paper of which would have probably been my homework assignment that would have been due the next day.
Oh typical me.
It's actually quite difficult for me now, trying to type this without a draft outline of what I wanted to say.
Mhmm...
The thinking begins and will hopefully end before the sun rises.
This week has been... um... what is that friken word? Mhmm... having a difficult time picking a work from the Thesaurus online site... WELL ANYWAYS, LETS JUST SAY IT WAS DIFFICULT!
There, I said it!
DIFFICULT.

I swear I can't think straight.
Reading a book called "Someone Like You". Possibly the worst choice for me to be reading at this time of year.
I was afraid to start reading it, but I eventually did. So the question is... How did the first couple chapters worked out? Well it's an okay book, not the greatest... I know what the plot is about but yet I took a chance to read it, knowing that possibly I would probably get quite emotional.
For the most part, the I don't relate to the majority of the story but for one part I do.
And that is where I fall the hardest.
I started reading it a quarter before my English class ended and when my class ended and I went outside for a smoke... I eventually started to cry.
Thankfully my "friend" and my sister were there to give me some comfort... but ugh... I felt like rubbish.
I miss him so much... it's going to be the first anniverisary of his death in a week.
I'm scared.

You Guys Are My Favourite. <3

Well... okay where do I start?
Alot of stuff happened since Friday... and it seems that I might be moving to London, England in July.
Why?
Well my dad is in the military and is trying to get posted there.
He first mentions it on Friday morning and tells me that I have to decide wether or not he should try to apply for it before Monday.
That stressed the hell out of me.
I mean going to England for two years would be fucking awesome and I would get to do so many fucking things. IT WOULD BE AMAZING.
And yet... I would have to leave my "home" and friends behind.
My friends are so fucking important to me that it made me cry hearing about it that Friday morning, luckly I didn't have my make-up on...
I mentioned it to a group of my friends during lunch, but I assumed by none of them saying anything I thought they didn't hear me... I guess I was wrong.
I actually forgotten all about it after lunch but I was reminded of it that day when my dad came home. Alex (my super ninja ex boyfriend) was there with me playing Call of Duty 4, so he heard everything when my dad brought it up...
I'm not good at making discions in general, it made me felt so lost. I wanted to cry my eyes out right then but I held them back... Thank god Alex was there though... (Alex if you reading this, thanks for the support)... I really appreciated it.

My dad wouldn't stop talking about the trips to Paris we could take, the private school I could be going to, and the all year long icerinks I could skate.... I knew he was bribing me... you could see it in his eyes that he really wanted to go.
I told him on Saturday morning that I would be fine with it.
Even though I told him my desciine, it felt like I should've taken me time to think about it but... I dont know... I'm lost... I think I just need a hug.
Also it sucked that I couldn't see my friend Friday night, I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, LIKE REALLY REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. It's been a rough week and I needed some relaxing time with him.
He is dear to my heart.

Luckly I did get a chance to see him when I got icecream today with Jesse. Simon almost made me choke on the mini tasting spoon. Jeeze... I almost died laughing with a spoon in my mouth.
Would have loved to stay longer and chat but I was seeing Jesse who I haven't seen since VEMF, when he totally ditch me for caps and girls that wanted to get down his pants. Jeeze... Haha.
IT'S SO FREKIN COLD OUTSIDE!!! POOR JESSE DIDN'T EVEN HAD SOCKS ON!
FUCK, I hope he doesn't freeze to death walking to the bus stop. I will feel so bad about it.
Earlier we took acouple funny pictures on my webcam -> It was fun.


To Simon, Brayden, Alex, Jesse, and Matt...
YOU GUYS ARE MY FAVOURITE! <3


So long and farewell?