Difficult.

It's funny how when I first started to blog that I would just whip something out of thin air and just blog my thoughts... but now, I prefer writing a draft of random thoughts of which is sloshed on every nook and cranny of the scrap piece of paper. The paper of which would have probably been my homework assignment that would have been due the next day.
Oh typical me.
It's actually quite difficult for me now, trying to type this without a draft outline of what I wanted to say.
Mhmm...
The thinking begins and will hopefully end before the sun rises.
This week has been... um... what is that friken word? Mhmm... having a difficult time picking a work from the Thesaurus online site... WELL ANYWAYS, LETS JUST SAY IT WAS DIFFICULT!
There, I said it!
DIFFICULT.

I swear I can't think straight.
Reading a book called "Someone Like You". Possibly the worst choice for me to be reading at this time of year.
I was afraid to start reading it, but I eventually did. So the question is... How did the first couple chapters worked out? Well it's an okay book, not the greatest... I know what the plot is about but yet I took a chance to read it, knowing that possibly I would probably get quite emotional.
For the most part, the I don't relate to the majority of the story but for one part I do.
And that is where I fall the hardest.
I started reading it a quarter before my English class ended and when my class ended and I went outside for a smoke... I eventually started to cry.
Thankfully my "friend" and my sister were there to give me some comfort... but ugh... I felt like rubbish.
I miss him so much... it's going to be the first anniverisary of his death in a week.
I'm scared.

It Reminds Me of Dayton.

I guess things are going well lately, acouple hiccups here and there but it won't kill me just yet. Haha. School... meh it's school, so I'm failing Planning (again) *Sighs*. I'm tempted to drop it (again) and to finish it next year. I am suppose to be gradding this year but due to the consequences of life these past years... Im' behind in credits and will need to take another semester to finally grad.

In a way I understand that Planning is essential to grad but honestly (no offense Mz.Z, but I prefer you as a Socials teacher instead) the teaching of it is giving me a headache. I know she means well and that she does try really hard to get us more involved... but it doesn't seem to be working well... especially when I, myself thinks that this is a load of bullshit. It doesn't help for my case that Mz.Z doesnt like me and isn't exactly "impressed" with my working habits, of which I have none because I don't do any work.
It is my fault for my failures in school and for letting things in lfe pull me down.
I am, I suppose, lazy and unmotivated. I don't know how it started, I wasn't like this when I was younger? My head hurts from just trying to figure it out.

That reminds me... even if it doesn't relate to anything I was typing beforehand... but I still need to remember to talk to Darryel... Mhmm... potential sabotage heading towards his direction? Maybe. Haha. Probably will give that paranoid freak a heart attack. God, I need to get some chronic... for my good old' Sara relaxing time. =]


I really wished that the weekend didn't have to end. I wanted to spend another night at his place. Makes me feel safe. =]


Woah... this morning was... well, alot of stuff was going on. *Sighs*. I'm quite concerned for my friends.
One just had a breakdown, another might possibly have phenomena and then there's something wrong with my sister. It's so hard cause there's something wrong going on and I can't do anything about it! She won't even tell me. I feel so hopeless.
I do hope she does eventually talk to someone about it... it sounds too big of a deal for her to handle by herself. We're best friends, sisters for life...
What would it possibly be that she refuses to tell me? I'm worried for her. =[


Almost cried while watching the news the other night... a woman and a ten year old boy died in a car crash in Vernon earlier this week. They were struck by a oncoming truck.
It reminds me of Dayton. =[


So long and farewell?