Friday, August 27, 2010

Where am I?

I am starting to doubt my sanity.
Words, thoughts, pictures, and sounds are swirling everwhere around me.
In and out of the prism of smoke.
No question of delightfulness.
Not feeling alone, or just maybe learning how to feal again.
Twist and turns.
I don't feel afraind.
It felt like it was suppose to be as it is.
Violence quirvers in the corner, not being able to face the once becoming sounds of delight.
Who is she?
Who was she?

Light doesn't stop shinning in the face of question.
Why is this happening to me.
And why don't I want it to stay?
Knives, a funny thing.
Turn into puffs of smokey haze.
Wishing to go back into their own selfs, but knowing it can't be done.

The smell lingers around.
Taking them in.
The beautifully sweet bitter taste flows down my neck.
It tickles.
The ghosts are amused by such sound of laughter once the wine was been drunk.
Well who knows?
This can't stop.
I can't stop.
Never ending cycles of holes.
It just doesn't stop.
The smell still lingers.

You could say that I am not myself but then again, when are people not themselfs?
Silly icebergs.
Bobbing up and down the sweet bitter.
It just doesn't stop.

Pain flows but yet ignored.
Even though it doesn't mind.
The escape of a death leaves the eyes wide open.
We need to leave and go, go where?
No idea. Lets just go where the smokey haze tavels upon.

There is no question of our lack of dignity.
Heavily it drowns within, just within we reach ourselves.
Of where we ask, "Where are we?"
"Where am I?"

Monday, August 23, 2010

If You Really Knew Me. - Restricted.

You would know that maybe one day, I might make another version of this, but until then this is my story.
You would know that I revealed most of my secrets at once and that it would take time to take it all in.
You would know that there is more to come.
What you don't know is when or what will happen until then.

If you really knew me, you would know that the never ending problems won't go away.
You would know that I have accepted it.
You would know that this second, of this minute, of this hour, I tell myself that I am fine with dying.
But if you really knew me, you would know that even sometimes I do lie to myself.

If you really knew me, you would know that it's time I left.

So long and farewell.