Thursday, November 26, 2009

Expect It Now.

What can i say? There's alot of emotions swiriling in my head.
It just makes me depressed just even trying to sort it out.
Happy, sad, frustrated, annoyed, and anger.
I'm tired of getting dirty looks from Brenden and Manny (but then again I do expect it from Manny, it is his nature to do so). Their prominent gaze sends me into complete panic mode.
Twitching, itching, just wanting to scream "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?!"
Brenden's glare came about when I started dating his friend over a year ago.
It made me feel like I didn't deserve to be there and that I would never fit in.
Now... even after my ex and I broke up, I still recieve them.
A worthless pathetic spec of dirt.
That's how I see myself in their eyes.
Why is it so?
How the hell am I going to make it through without losing it. Confrontation?
If only I had the "balls" to do so.

Girls, girls, and more girls; was my sister's reply to a desperate question of mine.
It wasn't the answer I was looking for.
It didn't seem to be the truth.
He wants to drop the harlot rep and told me so, but I still needed to be reassured. I asked my sister if there was still others.
All was said... "He has girls.".
Wow... I feel special, yet it sadly doesn't surprise me.
I just wish it wasn't so.

My random blogging of random stuff should be expected of me... well only from those who know me personally, but to others who don't:
Expect It Now.

So long and farewell?

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