Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Numb with a Sleeping Foot.

It is amazing how things could change in less than a day, especially before morning.
I won't deny it, I am hurting.
It shouldn't bother me so much but it did. It' probably doesn't help that a bunch of shit is already happening beforehand.
I don't know how to explain what I am feeling but I am pretty sure my sister got the main idea of what I was trying to explain to her.

That was the only I felt how to express my emotions earlyier today. Now after talking to my "friend" and my sister... I'm amazed at how I am starting to feel slightly better about this.
But am I still pissed?
Yes, but not in the destructive I was before lunch. It's more of a numb anger feeling now.
That's the best way Icould possibly put it.
I love her as a sister but in a way, even though it wasn't her fault, I felt betrayed.
To "help" coping with this, I've been chain-smoking all day. Not exactly the best thing to do because I know for a fact that I will physically feel like shit.
Oh well.

I don't know how long it will be before I will get over this, but in a way.. I kind of saw this coming but with a stranger and not my sister. It will take awhile.

Might blog more about this, but I don't know if I will.
Mood at the Current Moment: Numb with a sleeping foot (still...).

So long and farewell?

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